Yes, it started last June 12, Tuesday,Philippine Independence Day, when everything started to change. My mom and I traveled from our province to Manila to bring my things to my boarding house. I’m taking College here after all. There was a mix of emotions going on inside me: excitement, happiness, felling of independence, fear. I knew that when this day ends, it will only be me: only me to take care of myself, only me to prepare things for school, only me to find where my lost things are, only me to eat breakfast and dinner, only me to tell myself what the right thing to do, only me to tackle this new world God had granted me.
While on the bus, I heard my mom talking to her friend on the phone. They were talking about me going to college. My mom expressed her feelings to the person on the other end of the line. I was pretending to sleep. She was telling how bad she’s feeling and how much she’d miss me when I step into this new environment without her. I wanted to cry, but held on the tears as I did not want to appear weak. A part of me was already dying inside but I still focused on the brighter side: I’d be able to explore things on my own, no one to tell me to do what, FREEDOM. We reached the bus stop then we hired a taxi cab.While on our way, I familiarized myself with the landmarks, I do not want to get lost ever again. The ride took for about 10 minutes, more or less, and then we reached our destination. We ate lunch first and then we organized my things in my new room. Everything for me was such a hassle. I have to dust this, dust that, broom this, broom that, clean this, arrange that, etc. But while I was doing that, I kept track of the time, I kept on my mind the few hours, the few minutes, and the few seconds remaining before my mom leave me here. Tik tok tik tok… and it was over. We kissed and hugged goodbye.My mom left, leaving me her trust. Now I’m alone. I still did not cry. I couldn’t but I wanted. Maybe it was because I still haven’t felt the pressure yet, I was still clueless of what the future beholds.
The next day, start of school. C-O-L-L-E-G-E. I was very nervous and excited, wondering how many people I’d meet, how many friends I’ll have, what kind of professors I’d encounter, what quality of education they can offer, pass-time places, and how many cute guys I’d see *cough*. I was oh-so very glad to see EJ, I met him last summer while I was completing my college requirements, one of my block-mates, I won’t look like a loner, thank God. I was alertly observing the people passing by. It’s not very difficult to tell who’s new and who’s not. The place surrounding the room to our first class is starting to be filled by students, more specifically my block-mates to be. First class started. No Introductions made. I am saved. I don’t like talking in front of people I don’t know, makes me go really nervous, and weirder. Hey, I already made 4 friends!. Second class. Needs introduction. Can’t concentrate. My heart’s pounding so fast. Can’t remember what their names are. Focused on what I’m going to say. And then my name was called. Stated my name. Said how old I am, where I’m from, what school I graduated from. Told them I love everything Japanese and speaks Korean. Introduced myself in Korean language. The teacher joked. Everyone laughed. Now I am known as the Japanese/Korean girl in class. I made another friend. Another K-pop fangirl. Another Inspirit. Made my first loud laugh and clap in class. End of the day.
The following days were just the same. I made new friends. Met new professors. Went to places, and jotted down notes.
Then, 1st week of class started. Our schedule is hectic now. It’s time to face the real deal. There were lots of things to buy, mostly requirements in every class. I was kinda pressured but still holding on. My new friends are good at making things seem easy. But every time I am alone in my room, every after I hear my mom’s voice and summarize to her what happened on the whole day at school through the phone, I could not help myself but cry. I miss my family, I miss my mom, I miss my two little sister, I miss our cats and dogs, I miss the smell of home, I miss home-cooked meals, I miss the TV, I miss the pc, I miss the internet, I miss the fresh air, I miss the simple life. I miss not being too suspicious about everyone I encounter everyday. I MISS HOME.
Then I realized that it wasn’t too fun to be alone and be able to do things on your own. When I visited home , I saw the huge difference between the life in a city to the life in the province. I still prefer the life there, but I also like the thingshere.
As of now, I’m still on the process of adjusting. I mean, there are still things that I am not used to. But it’s okay, I will hold on. Life is a journey as well as my dream, and I am going there, that’s what I am going to reach.
All izz well
♥Saber.xoxo
